Archive for the 'Preparation to Leave' Category
I would first like to say, “DAMN!” I’m not half bad at this writing thing. I know I am still quite the rookie, and as all my past English teachers would probably tell you, my vocabulary and grammar are quite lacking. Actually without the aid of Word and its grammar correction and constant spell-checker, these posting would probably be illegible. I was reading back over my previous posts as I always do to get my bearings before I write my next addition, and I got a bit choked up over it. I’m sure it had nothing to do with how much those words hit home, but my poetic recount was just so evocative. (Yeah right) I would like to address that post, however. I’m referring to the Full of Tears emotional waterfall that received the most commentary on A Life in Waiting.
That post was written right in the middle of my realization of the reality of all of this. I’m referring to leaving my job/career/business, giving up my home to live in a guest room, and having Maria and my family be thousands of miles and many months away from me. Any one of those is a major life change, let alone all of them all at once. With the instant realization of it all, my typically stoic self erupted in a fountain of estrogen and let loose for the first time in too many years. I would be lying if I said it wasn’t one of the hardest things I’ve had to endure in my adult life. And I do have to agree with some of the comments about that writing, regarding the surprise that I put it all out there. Shock myself every now and again.
Well once I got through my emotional outbreak, I barreled down and started focusing on my future. Getting all of the gear I needed, working overtime on both jobs and trying to get myself as prepared as possible. Throw in the fact that every male from here to Kalamazoo knew that Maria was no longer here, so every night seemed like a good reason to get me drunk. Doesn’t do much for productivity, let alone one’s savings.
Well not to bypass or disregard all that happened before this, I am going to jump pass a quiet Thanksgiving day and go right into my next ulcer inducing issue. Shipping a bike overseas. Well I had purchased the bike in September and had issues registering as I have discussed previously. Well I look fondly back on those days. As it is now the Friday after Thanksgiving, and I have still not received the title of my newly acquired BMW. So I swing by our local DMV branch to inquire about the title’s location. They give me the phone number to NY DMV’s title bureau in hands down my quickest DMV visit. So I give a call to the surprisingly friendly title bureau and find out that out of state title procurements take almost twice as long as in state ones. Meaning that the title I needed so desperately to ship the bike would be arriving a month after I depart. So after a bit of schmoozing and chatting it up with the gentleman on the other side of the phone (there’s a lot of motorcycle riders out there that love helping other riders) I was able to get a rush on the title. No guarantees, but a shimmer of hope.
So I was able to get the title shipped to me on the following Monday, arriving on Tuesday the day the bike needed to be at Lufthansa. Cutting it ever so close, as always. So the title arrives 2 hours prior to the time the bike needs to be at the cargo hold at JFK airport. After stopping by Paul Smith’s father’s shop to get the documents notarized, I fly off to JFK. In typical motorcyclist fashion, I ended up skirting all standard NYC traffic by riding shoulders and medians, making many friends along the way. Got there with fifteen minutes to spare.
So now I am getting myself ready to leave, as it is less than a week away. Stressful times. Making sure I have my ducks in a row (which I don’t) and just getting myself mentally and financially ready. So now it is a few days later, and my bike was supposed to leave by now. I check the website and find that it hasn’t. I call up and find out that customs never came by to ok it. Great. Turns out it was still sitting In the hanger right now, as I am flying high above the Atlantic. A full week after it was brought there. More fun to come I’m sure…
So next time I put anything up on here, I should be sitting in the Munich airport going, “Now what?”
What did I do? I just sent my family half ways around the world yesterday. For what, so I could pretend I’m a post-collegiate twenty-something with no responsibilities? Quit my job, moved out of my house, and sent them all away to Finland where I might not be with them for months all for this silly fucking dream of mine. If I met me right now, I’d kick my own ass.
I don’t get it. I’ve been waiting for this moment for quite a while. With the four of us (Maria, our dog Lexi, our cat Lil’ Shit and myself) crammed in a tight room, always on top of each other especially while sleeping, constantly in each others ways and scheduling so busy, I was counting the days to this. I wanted the extra space to get myself ready, wanted the free time to prepare for my future adventures, wanted, wanted, wanted. I couldn’t envision what it would be like with them gone. I couldn’t imagine the pain it would bring on to know that Maria’s not waiting for me at home and that Lexi won’t be there to jump all over me. I actually couldn’t shut the light off in the room last night when going to bed without waiting for her to come up to my side of the bed as she did every night waiting for permission to jump onto the bed. I can’t even write that damn sentence without crying. God I miss them. And it’s barely been twenty four hours. Be careful of what you wish for, you just might get it. I never truly got that saying. NOW I get it.
Guess I should explain what I’m talking about. As I haven’t been updating this thing lately, it wouldn’t be well known that I brought Maria and the animals to JFK airport yesterday afternoon for their flight to Finland, Maria’s home country. As I get ready to begin my European motorcycling adventure, Maria is taking our little family home to Finland where she can rehabilitate her ailing back and get in touch with her Finnish-ness. She had been experiencing home-sickness for quite awhile and we both agreed that it would good for her to spend some time with her family and friends while I go off and do whatever it is that I do.
I have had a really hard time this past month to free up my mind and myself long enough to get these thoughts on paper. With everything going on with me getting things ready and organized plus helping Ria get herself ready with the animals I barely had time for work, let alone this. So I let myself down a bit here, as this is the part of everyone else’s story that always seems to go missing as well. I was so determined to capture it so for that next person to attempt this stupid, crazy idea, they would be able to see what it was truly like to do it. Not just the stories and pictures of faraway lands, but the pain and heartache that one must endure. And man, it’s a LOT.
So Since my last post, I was able to solidify my future with the purchase of my plane ticket to Munich. Dec 4th as previously noted. It is scarily close to that date, right now. I really need to hit the ground running this weekend, as I am in need to get a lot done, soon. One thing that will be a big relief for me is that on Monday, my cousin Jimmy the motorcycle mechanic will be coming by to teach me all about motorcycle maintenance. We’re going to change all fluids and have a lesson on what I need to watch for and how to fix it. He really is a good kid and I wish there was some way to repay him for all of his time that he has so graciously given to me.
There is so much more that I want to say right now, but it’s as garbled in my head as all of this must look on a computer screen. I’m exhausted. Mentally, physically but most of all emotionally. I miss my family so much right now that concentrating on much else is not really succeeding. If the only thing that I learn from all of this, is to stop taking everything for granted and truly begin to look around at how wonderful my life is, then it will all be worth it. Great friends, strong loving family and someone who loves you no matter what stupid things you do are truly priceless. I have all three and would not trade them for anything in this world.
Maria, I know you are reading this and I want you to know how truly sorry I am. I’ve made these past few months pretty darn hard for all of us and you have been wonderful throughout it all. You’ve supported me and put up with my shit longer than probably anybody else would. You are an amazing woman and I owe you the world. I miss you so much right now that I can barely write this to you. The thought of you, Lexi and Lil Shit so far away is one that I am not dealing with very well. I cannot wait to see you all again. Hopefully that will be very soon. I lurve you.
Instead of doing this in the ordinary fashion, I am going with the biggest news first. Today I have secured a spot on a Lufthansa aircraft for my BMW to cross over the Atlantic. For what I was originally quoted for, no less. I get to ride my bike straight to JFK airport and hand over the keys to the shipping company. A few days later I hop on a plane myself and ride off into the sunset. Or blizzard, considering I’m flying into Munich, Germany in December. Munich, you ask? Well it is a bit further north than originally anticipated, but for the price and convenience it’s worth it to me to be 600miles north of my final destination. A freezing 10hour drive and I will be basking in the 50deg sun of southern Italy.
So it’s mostly official, December 4th being my last day on American soil. Two weeks over my hopeful day is pretty darn good, for me that is. Just need to buy that plane ticket for myself and I’m good. Then all I need to do is make a crapload of money between now and then. Actually Bluu has been making me feel better and better about this. If we stay at the pace we are at now, I can fly over with less than I had originally anticipated and just earn from over there. Oh how thankful I am of this great and wonderful internet.
So besides solidifying my departure plans, this past week and a half has just been filled with work. A lot of it. Between GEA, Bluu and a fair amount of side work for family I have been busy from dawn to well after dusk. Every day. Throw in a Halloween party that we all throw yearly and well I ran out of free time. So after today, I should be able to get more out and posted up to this journal. No pressure, but will definitely aim for it.
For some reason I can’t get myself to sit down and write but I know I have to. There has just been so much going on that I feel overwhelmed by everything that writing gets thrown into the back seat. Not to mention the lack of time that I seem to have. I finally have my bike and registered in my name. So the next logical step would be getting it shipped to Europe. Feeling like I already had this basis covered, from the extensive amount of research and quote getting I had done a month or two earlier, I figured this would be a breeze. Hah! Of course not. Well now that the 3 main shippers I had been relying upon have either told me they can’t ship it or have doubled their rates, I’ve been on a tear to find a reasonable shipper. Apparently they don’t exist. The big boys don’t want to deal with shipping such a small shipment, and the little guys want to charge an arm, leg and even a kidney. So this little chore has taken up as much of my free time as I have.
On top of this, this past weekend was a drunken mess. Two good friends of ours decided to tie the knot on Sunday, and in true fashion the whole weekend became a blur in my memory. From the rehearsal dinner Sat night, to the actual wedding and after party, I don’t think I went more than five hours without a drink in my hand. So productivity was at an all time low. Oh and did I mention that my Monday was spent in bed recovering? Yeah, way to go Mike, we’re only a few weeks and thousands of dollars short of departure. Good thing I’m using my time (and money) wisely.
So in case I haven’t beaten around the point well enough, I am stressed. Bad. To the point where I am struggling to get the tasks at hand accomplished because I’m not focusing but rather being consumed by it all. I had been organized and functional at one time. Being able to itemized a list and take things out one by one. I actually do this for my business partner with Bluu. Build daily punchlists for him to take down, one item at a time. But I am struggling with it myself. I think my biggest problem is switching from having a nice large desk, with a dual monitor setup where everything was spread out before me. Now I am working solely off a laptop from numerous different places, with no set schedule or order. I feel like I need a day build a strong routine that I can hopefully follow. Perhaps Saturday is my day.
Sorry, this post has been almost as disorganized and confusing as I have been as of late. I need to fix this…